Rasputin

Ian: I'm not like Drew, am I?

DM: No. That's like asking if you're like Rasputin.

Word-smithing

Ian: Be the word-smyth.

DM: The wordsmith?

Ian: Yeah. Be like Grace, but with words.

DM: So, eviscerate everything in my path with a spiked chain?

Ian: Yeah, but with words.

I'm a ninja!

"Stop stealing my ninja fruit!" --DM

Double Entendre

Ian: Yeah, the lesbians are coming.

(silence)

DM: *giggle*

Ian: Aw, come on! That's not what I meant.

DM: It's so juvenile, but it's so funny.

Once again, guess the context and earn a gold star.

Odd cravings...

Kristen: "I'm going to have SO much more milk than you!!!"

Spoonerism? Sporkerism?

DM: Can you hand me the remote?

Ian: Forever what?

DM: What? Did you mean whatever for?

Ian: Yeah...what did I say?

DM: Forever what.

Ian: Oh...

McCoy-isms

Our new hobby: coming up with McCoy quotes.

DM: Jim, I'm a doctor not a brick layer (actual quote).

Ian: Jim, I'm a doctor not an escalator! (actual quote).

DM: Jim, I'm a doctor not a universal remote.

Ian: Jim, I'm a doctor not a parakeet!

DM: Jim, I'm a doctor not a chili dog.

Ian: Jim, I'm a doctor not a mindflayer.

DM: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a vending machine.

Ian: Jim, I'm a doctor not a hooker.

Blast from the Past

We're learning about planetary astronomy in Physics. Holy crap, I'm so excited! I am seriously the dominatrix of all things solar system.

Dawn Marie, as written her livejournal back in 2004.

Dork

DM: Are you a vampire? Are you going to suck my blood...for 1d8 damage?

Ian: What am I doing? I'm sawing a Q-tip with a nail file!

Bad Pick Up Lines

Ian: How do you like your eggs?
DM: Scrambled, but I imagine you're over easy.

DM: You must be Lucky Charms, 'cuz you're magically delicious.

DM: Are you Mahi-Mahi?
Ian: What?
DM: Nothing, you just look like the catch of the day.

Ian: Are you a mindflayer?
DM: Why?
Ian: Because I could be dominated by you all night.

And with that last one, we figured it couldn't get any worse, so we went to sleep.

Live Long and Sausage

"I'm wrapped up in a Spock sausage."

~DM

Doubts

"He has his hands in my mouth, and he say, 'I'm having doubts.' When he took his hands out of my mouth, I asked him, 'When you say doubts, you don't mean existential, right? 'Cause now is NOT the time to be reconsidering your career path.'"

Dawn Marie on bedside manner

Orthodontic Fun

"...and then he told me to bite down...hard."

Dawn Marie on the process of putting bands on.

"You've got some fine looking melons."

-Kristen to Ryan, on the topic of Farmville.

Context Be Damned

"It tickles in my mouth. That's weird."--Ian (Stardate: January 3, 2009)

Ten bucks (in pride money) to anyone who can correctly guess the context. Go!

Wheeeeeee!